RESOURCES FOR YOU & YOUR ORGANIZATION

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The Random House College Dictionary defines “resolution” as “a formal expression of opinion or intention made… a resolve or determination…firmness of purpose.” As each year ends, we are faced with the option of making resolutions for the New Year. Unfortunately, many of us find that we may express our intention and begin with firmness of purpose,

 but we do not follow through with our behavior toward fulfilling our intentions.

Many factors may contribute to our not following through with our resolutions. We may set resolutions that are too far to reach. We may set too many resolutions. We may make resolutions for the wrong reasons. Our intentions may change as time goes on. We may be uncertain how to proceed with acting on our resolutions. The bottom line is, something is keeping us from sticking to our resolve, but there is also something we can do about it.

First, let’s break down the word “resolution” to re-solution. Next let’s expand the word to real-solutions. Now we have a beginning point. Instead of making resolutions, think about real-solutions to areas of your life that you would like to change or enhance. For example, maybe you have not been exercising as regularly as is recommended. You may set a real-solution to schedule exercise time into each week’s schedule or identify an exercise buddy. This gives you more specific guidelines than simply resolving to “exercise more.”

Another way to develop your New Year’s real-solutions is to apply basic concepts of goal-setting. Be specific in your choices and break them down as much as possible. Create resolution statements that are measurable. Identify rewards for your success in adhering to your resolutions. Share your resolutions with someone else who will support you. Be willing to redevelop your resolutions as time goes on, if necessary. Set a limited number of resolutions, maybe three to five to start. You can always add more throughout the year. Make resolutions that are for you, not to appease someone else’s wishes. If you fall short on meeting your resolutions, forgive yourself, reorganize your plan, and move on. Remember that we are more likely to follow through with a plan that we agree with and are excited about.

Here are a few ideas to help get you started. After reading this article, take a moment to jot down a few ideas for your personal New Year’s Real-Solutions.

1 – I will exercise 3 mornings a week

 between 6-7a.m., for example, brisk walking, jumping rope, lifting weights, swimming, yoga

2 – I will eat at least 3 servings of fruits/vegetables each day, for example apple, spinach, broccoli, blueberries

3 – I will practice relaxation strategies 3 times each week, for example, diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery with music

Scroll to the bottom of this page for a helpful handout to set your New Year's Re-solutions

Blog by Dr. Kleinman through Boulder County Public Health:

COVID19: MANAGING THE MENTAL MAYHEM

 https://www.bouldercounty.org/families/disease/covid-19-information/mental-health-blog/#:~:text=COVID%2D19%3A%20Managing%20the%20Mental%20Mayhem%20is%20a%20series%20written,during%20the%20COVID%2D19%20pandemic.

Watch Dr. Kleinman's impromtu presentation about 

Coping With Life's Difficulties

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eyy0clq9SjU

Watch Dr. Kleinman's impromtu presentation about 

Enhancing Your Relationships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-LkLs4VF6U

 If there's anything worse than being stressed out, it may be trying to find the time and energy to manage that stress. • So it should come as a relief to hear that simply listening to music can relieve stress without the pressure of learning an entirely new set of skills. • We all know that music helps set the mood. Why else do gyms pulse with upbeat tunes and elegant restaurants favor soothing melodies? • But with just a little extra thought and attention, you can turn your favorite tunes into powerful stress relievers and mood boosters.

First, the background

 Music therapy began as a formal profession in the 1950's with the discovery that music and music-based activities could help people with mental handicaps and psychiatric disorders. But the use of music in healing actually dates back to ancient times. Ancient Egyptian and Greek artifacts depict music used in healing rituals. Music is embedded in cultural rituals around the world — in healing, celebration, transformation and spiritual and religious practice. Music therapy draws from this rich history, while also using modern science and psychology to improve physical, emotional, and mental health. Patients with autism, trauma, grief, post-traumatic stress, pre-surgical anxiety, post-operative pain, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, addictive disorders and neurological disorders such as Parkinson's and Tourette's syndrome all have been helped by music therapy. But you don't have to have a clinical diagnosis to enjoy the benefits of music therapy. The key is learning how to use music most effectively to improve our health and well-being. 

Songs for Soothing

 Most of us can think of moments when a particular song has evoked memories and emotions. Pay attention to songs that bring feelings of joy, pleasure or hope. Begin to make a list, or better yet, create a playlist for your iPod that includes uplifting songs that create positive feelings for you. Listen to these songs when you are feeling stressed or in a low mood — or really, anytime. The songs you choose may be from any genre — popular, alternative, folk, jazz, classical or New Age music. What works well for one person may not evoke much of an emotional response at all in another. Remember, it is not only the lyrics that matter; the energy or soothing nature of the music itself can bring comfort and relief. get the anger out Maybe you are feeling particularly angry or frustrated — common responses in today's tough economic climate. These emotions are signals that we're feeling threatened, vulnerable, fearful or possibly out of control. Fine, you might say, but what if you can't do anything about the source of the trouble?   That's when it's crucial to reduce the intensity of the response. Music can be used to "vent" some of the overwhelming emotion and bring us to a more moderate emotional state. Then we're in a better place to find solutions. Here's where you put away the soothing New Age music and pull out tunes that match your anger and frustration in intensity. You will want to avoid songs with destructive or violent lyrics, as they can intensify rather than reduce your anger or frustration. As you listen to the music — it will probably have a fast beat, loud bass or percussion, heavier lyrics — really pay attention to how the music feels in your body. Focus your breathing and acknowledge the intense thoughts or body sensations you're experiencing. Then start switching to songs that are a little less intense, gradually moving toward selections that are more and more soothing and upbeat. It may be helpful to create a playlist or CD for yourself ahead of time, especially if you tend to experience frequent excess stress, anger or frustration. 

Focus, Focus 

Music also can help increase mental focus and concentration. In studies, Baroque music, such as chamber or orchestral pieces by Handel, have been found to help people focus on tasks even more than when those tasks are performed in silence. It seems that the ordered nature and pacing of this style of music are compatible with keeping attention to detail. Even if you are not a classical music fan, it may be helpful to play Baroque music at times when you seem distracted and need to concentrate. ups and downs Sometimes we want to increase or decrease our energy. Anyone who has cranked up their favorite music during exercise knows that rhythmic and percussive music is great for increasing energy. Conversely, non-melodic, slow-paced music, such as that in the New Age genre, can greatly enhance relaxation and meditation. Studies have also shown that listening to soothing music, even without practicing deep breathing or meditation, can bring about a relaxation response in the body. 

Playlist

If you're a music lover, you should have no trouble composing your own playlists. But if you need a little help to start your library of music to enhance wellness, here are some songs 

Dr. Kleinman finds uplifting and soothing.   

The Greatest Love of All (versions by George Benson or Whitney Houston) 

Shining Star (Earth, Wind and Fire)

 Drive (Incubus) 

Beautiful (Carole King) 

Lean on Me (Bill Withers) 

Accentuate the Positive (Al Jarreau) 

Hero (Mariah Carey) 

Respect (Aretha Franklin) 

In My Life (versions by the Beatles or Judy Collins)  

Lori Kleinman, Ph.D., founder of LIVIBRANCE Wellness Center, is a licensed psychologist and music therapist who provides classes, workshops and counseling to enhance well-being. 

(published in Tampa Bay Times "Personal Best" column, 10/23/09© 2015 Tampa Bay Times)

 This article has a remarkably simple message: 

DON’T GIVE COVID-19 YOUR POWER!

We continue to live with uncertainty in multiple life areas. This can increase our feelings of stress, frustration, or sadness. Yet, there is much we can be certain of: who we like, who we love, what we value, that we will eat healthy food, that we will exercise and move our body, what music we like, what movies we want to watch, that we will connect with friends, et cetera. When we live according to what we can do, instead of being stressed by uncertainty, we keep our power. We are stronger and do not become a victim of our circumstances.

Optimism is an important and helpful trait that can get us through uncertain times below (see my Blog posting about optimistic thoughts). Creating a realistic, hopeful mindset is good for us. There is more that is good for us, even when we are striving to be optimistic.

So, what else can we do when dealing with uncertain times?

Be honest about your thoughts and feelings about the pandemic. When we acknowledge that we are “tired of this” or “frustrated” or can say “this really stinks!”, we release some of the stress in our body and mind. Now, it is important that we do not get “stuck” in this place. We want to acknowledge, express, and then move back into a more optimistic attitude. For example, we might acknowledge “this really stinks, and I hate it” followed by “and I know I’ll get through it. In the meantime, I will build healthy and uplifting moments into my days”.

Our mind and nervous system recover from stress more effectively when we can be both honest and optimistic. Trying to keep positive without acknowledging what is upsetting us can greatly increase stress. Choosing to be honest about our thoughts and feelings while realistically looking to a better future can reduce stress.

An activity that can make this even more effective is called “petals and thorns”. This can be fun to do with others, especially if you have children. Each person takes a turn sharing the “thorns” of their day and the “petals” of their day. Think of a rose. The thorns are prickly and sharp and can hurt. The petals are soft and velvety and can soothe. This is a calm and safe way to share thoughts and feelings and include uplifts at the end of sharing.

Keeping your power does not mean that everything is always easy and uplifting. It means that you choose your response and focus on solutions and optimistic thoughts. Covid-19 does not deserve to be in control of our lives. We will practice healthy behaviors – physical distancing, washing and sanitizing – but will not live in worry and pain. You get to keep your power and make healthy and uplifting decisions.

Wishing you good health, comfort and abundant power, Dr. Lori Kleinman